Getting your groove back?

Pwrmac7600

Power User
So my guess is there are probably quite a few people here like myself. So I thought I would look for advice and inspiration here. Bare with me here as this may get a little long winded, but I feel like I need to get this out, and this seemed like a good a place as any to do so.

Back story: Roughly 16 years ago I relocated, moving from Chicago to NY. When I lived in Chicago I actively played in a band, and wrote music. I would come home from work every single day and inevitably would settle right into my home studio for the night and do nothing but write music for my band. While all of my band mates were going out for the night to hang out and party, I always opted to sit home and write and record music. It literally was my life. I worked as a touring lighting director doing corporate gigs, and when i wasn't doing that I wrote music, and practiced and played with my band.

In 2005 I relocated to NY to move in with my now wife. Upon moving I had barely any money in my pocket, and my only focus was on getting a job and working as much as I could to get myself established and back on my feet. I had no space to really sit on my own and write and practice, and just play due to us living in a very small apartment, and me always feeling like when I would play I was bothering or disturbing my wife, also adding that I really am a person who likes to be alone with myself when I write to keep my self in that headspace that I needed to be in when I write. So music and guitar kinda of fell by the wayside. Now it's not as though I completely stopped playing for 16 years. Even in our apartment I would still play, but just not nearly as much as I was prior to relocating.

Fast forward 16 years later (where does the time go) and my wife and I purchased our first home. I was so excited because now I would finally have a space that I could dedicate to being a home studio, a place I could escape and be alone to do my thing with no distraction. BUT, now I have found that I just can't do it anymore.
I constantly now come down to my studio and fire everything up and I sit down to play, and within an hour or so I end up so frustrated with myself, that I pretty much just end up putting the guitar back on the stand, and walking away.
I realize alot of my problem is that every time I sit down to play I am trying to write, which is something i haven't done in a while. I have written little things here and there, but nothing like I use to. I know that because I am trying to write and nothing is coming together is what is leading to my frustration, but writing was alway what i loved. So naturally I am trying to get back to what I love. I just can't seem to get over the hump. I constantly tell myself, just go and play and don't worry about what comes out of it, put on some music and just jam along, just play damn it! but it always ends in frustration.

I will add to this that I am a self taught player, I know no theory, I had no formal lessons or training, I always just loved guitar and decided at 13 I was going to teach myself, since my parent's couldn't afford lessons for me. I learned by listening to music and figuring out how to play the songs I liked, I would hunt and fish for notes until I got it, and then I would piece it all together, which I think trained me ear really well.
I think did pretty well for no formal training, people complimented me on my playing, people always told me they really liked my songs, etc....
I'm no malmsteen, but I learned enough along the way that I feel i became a pretty solid player and writer, I learned enough to be dangerous as they say.
At my age now I just don't have the patience to sit down and learn theory. it ends up boring me, and i just can't keep my attention up long enough to focus on formal training.

Bottom line is I just miss my passion for guitar and music and really want it back. I just can't figure out how to get there.
So I thought I would share here. See if anyone else has gone through or is going through the same thing.

So feel free to tell your story, share what you may have done that helped you get your groove back.
Or, just read this respond that it's because I suck, and tell me how it's not gonna happen. lol

Thanks for listening, and letting me vent my frustrations.
 
Try getting together with other musicians for inspiration.

This will be part of it.

The other part will be putting the guitar down before you get frustrated. Take a week off.

If I pick up a guitar and there's no joy in playing that day, I'll put it back down. You shouldnt be stressing about the thing you're supposed to be enjoying.

As a bulb once said, "just have fun with it". Stop when it isn't fun.
 
Hi @Pwrmac7600
I know what you mean. When I was younger, hungrier, and stupider, I found it really easy to come up with musical ideas that I thought were good. As the years wore on however, it happens less and less. I'd suggest what @Admin M@ did - IE, get with some others and play. You are not alone. If you find an answer - tell me!

Thanks
Pauly
So my guess is there are probably quite a few people here like myself. So I thought I would look for advice and inspiration here. Bare with me here as this may get a little long winded, but I feel like I need to get this out, and this seemed like a good a place as any to do so.

Back story: Roughly 16 years ago I relocated, moving from Chicago to NY. When I lived in Chicago I actively played in a band, and wrote music. I would come home from work every single day and inevitably would settle right into my home studio for the night and do nothing but write music for my band. While all of my band mates were going out for the night to hang out and party, I always opted to sit home and write and record music. It literally was my life. I worked as a touring lighting director doing corporate gigs, and when i wasn't doing that I wrote music, and practiced and played with my band.

In 2005 I relocated to NY to move in with my now wife. Upon moving I had barely any money in my pocket, and my only focus was on getting a job and working as much as I could to get myself established and back on my feet. I had no space to really sit on my own and write and practice, and just play due to us living in a very small apartment, and me always feeling like when I would play I was bothering or disturbing my wife, also adding that I really am a person who likes to be alone with myself when I write to keep my self in that headspace that I needed to be in when I write. So music and guitar kinda of fell by the wayside. Now it's not as though I completely stopped playing for 16 years. Even in our apartment I would still play, but just not nearly as much as I was prior to relocating.

Fast forward 16 years later (where does the time go) and my wife and I purchased our first home. I was so excited because now I would finally have a space that I could dedicate to being a home studio, a place I could escape and be alone to do my thing with no distraction. BUT, now I have found that I just can't do it anymore.
I constantly now come down to my studio and fire everything up and I sit down to play, and within an hour or so I end up so frustrated with myself, that I pretty much just end up putting the guitar back on the stand, and walking away.
I realize alot of my problem is that every time I sit down to play I am trying to write, which is something i haven't done in a while. I have written little things here and there, but nothing like I use to. I know that because I am trying to write and nothing is coming together is what is leading to my frustration, but writing was alway what i loved. So naturally I am trying to get back to what I love. I just can't seem to get over the hump. I constantly tell myself, just go and play and don't worry about what comes out of it, put on some music and just jam along, just play damn it! but it always ends in frustration.

I will add to this that I am a self taught player, I know no theory, I had no formal lessons or training, I always just loved guitar and decided at 13 I was going to teach myself, since my parent's couldn't afford lessons for me. I learned by listening to music and figuring out how to play the songs I liked, I would hunt and fish for notes until I got it, and then I would piece it all together, which I think trained me ear really well.
I think did pretty well for no formal training, people complimented me on my playing, people always told me they really liked my songs, etc....
I'm no malmsteen, but I learned enough along the way that I feel i became a pretty solid player and writer, I learned enough to be dangerous as they say.
At my age now I just don't have the patience to sit down and learn theory. it ends up boring me, and i just can't keep my attention up long enough to focus on formal training.

Bottom line is I just miss my passion for guitar and music and really want it back. I just can't figure out how to get there.
So I thought I would share here. See if anyone else has gone through or is going through the same thing.

So feel free to tell your story, share what you may have done that helped you get your groove back.
Or, just read this respond that it's because I suck, and tell me how it's not gonna happen. lol

Thanks for listening, and letting me vent my frustrations.
 
I can relate. Before I got married my rig was at my bedside and I'd wake up and first and last thing I'd do is pick up my guitar. Anyway, now that I'm married with kids my rig is in the basement and rarely play when the wife is home. However, I do make it a point to pick it up for at least 15-20 minutes a day just to keep my fingers somewhat in shape...they still do not move nearly as good as they used to. I learned long ago not to try and force creativity. It's a bit like falling in love...it just happens. I'm like you... pretty much self taught and never learned theory. I'm sure this hinders my playing especially when it comes to writing new stuff but when I've tried I find it boring. Everything I've written has been by ear and searching for notes which sucks at times. Artist of all types struggle with inspiration. Lately I've found inspiration to play by watching stuff on YouTube. I will see someone play a riff or idea and want to check it out. More often than not I will find it doesn't work for me but it at least gets me to want to pick up the instrument. I wish I had a more definitive answer for you.
 
I can relate. Before I got married my rig was at my bedside and I'd wake up and first and last thing I'd do is pick up my guitar. Anyway, now that I'm married with kids my rig is in the basement and rarely play when the wife is home. However, I do make it a point to pick it up for at least 15-20 minutes a day just to keep my fingers somewhat in shape...they still do not move nearly as good as they used to. I learned long ago not to try and force creativity. It's a bit like falling in love...it just happens. I'm like you... pretty much self taught and never learned theory. I'm sure this hinders my playing especially when it comes to writing new stuff but when I've tried I find it boring. Everything I've written has been by ear and searching for notes which sucks at times. Artist of all types struggle with inspiration. Lately I've found inspiration to play by watching stuff on YouTube. I will see someone play a riff or idea and want to check it out. More often than not I will find it doesn't work for me but it at least gets me to want to pick up the instrument. I wish I had a more definitive answer for you.
It's this the same Justincase from the my Les Paul forum?
 
I absolutely love playing with others, and I miss it dearly. That's why I make sure what little playing I can do with overtime and an 8mo is enjoyable. If playing along to blink 182 is going to improve my mood that day, im gonna do it lol. Life is short.
 
I come up with lots of ideas on my own... But for me, I typically need real interaction with other musicians to complete something.

And I occasionally hit dry spots for days, weeks, months...

As someone already said, sometimes stepping away for a bit helps. Don't touch the guitar for a week or two. That's often been a rut buster for me.

Or pick up another instrument, even if you're not proficient. I've written a few tunes starting with a bass :)

Try playing a style you normally steer clear of... You might be surprised!

The other thing I'd suggest is don't pressure yourself to write. Play... But be prepared to capture ideas. The Voice Memo on my iPhone is chock full of little ideas. Some more developed than others, but captured for later recall.
 
At one point you mentioned not wanting to disturb your wife, and also used the word a couple times, "trying." And now you have a new house.

Is it possible you're "trying" to force something, and are there any, perhaps subconscious, feelings that could be underlying, that in some weird way make you feel like you should be engaged more with her, and the house? Moving is a big deal, which ime, involves a lot of work even after you're in the new place, all the things of making a house, a home.

Any time I'm "trying" to do something that just isn't happening, I think back to every serious relationship I had. In none of them was I trying to meet a woman. The night I met my wife, I was just out for a fun night with the boys, for example. But the nights I was actually trying to get laid, nada.

I'd keep that in mind. I was completely unmotivated to play my guitar for about 4-5 years, but it didn't bother me. So when I got back into it, there wasn't some lightning bolt stimulus that did it. So I can't offer any ideas along that line, sorry. But it did come back, with a passion I never had in the past.
 
^^Great post. :)

It does seem that "trying" implies some kind of forced effort and obligation, which
can definitely cause to inhibit a person when they are probably trying to NOT be inhibited. :)

I recall reading something by Vernon Reid when Living Colour blew up in 1988-89. It was
something along the lines of how he grew the most as a musician when he was NOT playing.
His counsel was to live your life, have experiences, do other things, because his belief was
that is how you fill up your creative well.

Good luck OP. You got this! :)
 
Try getting high,(only half joking.) shut the studio door, and don't come out until you come up with a riff.;) Your in NY, It's legal. If that's not your thing, just learn something new everyday. Whether it be a riff, song, technique, scale or whatever. Doesn't have to be anything difficult, just something new you can get under your fingers and in your head. I always like to revisit the songs that made me want to play guitar.
Music can be extremely difficult. You could spend 3 lifetimes learning and playing and still not know it all. The mindset is " Always a student, never a master."
 
^^I'm taking your advice. :)

There is a TON of value and virtue in not getting into editing/judging/critical mode out of the gate.
Play, let go. Do that first. Heck, do that only. Judge/edit later. Much later.
 
well, I have no doubt I am older (+++) than you. When I stopped playing out (home studio now) I lost 100% of my interest in music.
What helped me was trying things that were NEW to me. Things on the guitar I had to learn (NOT re-learn).
Fractal Audio helped an awful lot also due to the great sounds and killer forum. Don't give up................................
 
I've gone through a couple of times where I really didn't touch a guitar for 9-ish months. I'd pick it up and try, but my heart wasn't there. Eventually, the fire came back ;-)

Bottom line, go with what feels right to you. If it isn't flowing, don't force it. If you find yourself trying to write instead of play, maybe put some music on that you can just jam to - could be instrumentals/backing tracks, could be your favorite cover songs you can play along with.

Just let it be what it wants to be.
 
Yes I would say I do always end up "trying", it's never my intent when I sit down, but in the end I do end up trying, getting frustrated, and then putting it down.

Also, yes, moving into the new house, our first house, also does play a big part of it. But not a major one. My wife and I do both like sitting on our computers to "unwind", but we always end the day together in the living room relaxing. So we both have time dedicated to ourselves and to each other. During "my time" I am usually breaking that up between reading on the forums I like, watching a lot of music content on you tube, and then playing. So I don't think it's an issue of feeling guilty, like I should be doing other things. My wife is good that way, she knows guitar is just of my life and she supports that.

I do think I am going to just start jamming to music I like, learning some new songs, etc, just some no pressure playing.
 
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I'll feel free then to share my story if it helps. I've left my home town and my country as I was 32 to start a new life after getting married. Not only did I leave my whole life, my family and friends, but I also left my band where I was creatively involved. After moving, I had a few attempts of playing with other bands here, it somehow didn't work on a longer basis although I've met some interesting people. The groove actually never left me, I just didn't have any vision where does my musical journey lead me. I felt alone. Then I've seen the FX II, this magical box and I purchased it. I thought this new toy will make me happier. Then for the next few months and years I was more tweaking then playing. It was very frustrating at times but in the end it payed off. In a situation without a band but having such a piece of equipment, it occured to me: why don't I make my own project, my first own album? I have no band but I have everything I need to make my own music. Suddenly everything made sense. It was a long process, cause I had to learn mixing and I made every possible mistake I could. A few years later the album is here and it contains mostly the songs I came up with while recording it, instead of those riffs I wanted to record originally. Having a plan and purpose can wake the groove in a new way.
 
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