solo-act
Fractal Fanatic
Father died Thanksgiving day (update: 1 month)
Slumped over in my Brother's living room in front of wife and grandkids right after pre-thanksgiving grace. Sudden, fast, quick. Heart stopped, breathing stopped. Paramedics there in an instant and no one could revive.
Just wanted everyone to know music is here to heal -- Listening to Steely Dan "Home at Last". Yes Dad, after a life struggling with the true peace and meaning of home...you're there at last.
I miss you already.
*update, 1 month later*
Thanks again for the heartfelt wishes gang.
I found myself writing this song: first the music, then the lyrics, which took shape last Thursday, 3 weeks after his death. The song haunted me until Tuesday this week when I finished a draft of it and have felt much better since. Amazing process and first song I've written in many years (need to get back to that).
It's really personal, so you can skip if you want. But for some of you settling in with family for the Xmas holiday, for those who've been down this road already, and for those yet to travel it, maybe there's something in here for you.
LETTING GO
V
You wanted me to understand,
but I was much too young to hear you,
I just wanted to be near you.
Leaving, never coming back.
Our mamma did good and she raised us,
but our home would never be the same...
*instr bridge, short*
CH
Of all the things you ever taught me,
the first thing I recall was letting go.
When all that's done can't be undone,
I learned the time could come...for letting go.
V
Then came the man who beat us down.
Oh we wanted you to take us,
you said "brothers, be courageous."
Those were the years you were my hero.
You lived in the desert wild
And you helped us move to man, from child...
*instr bridge, longer*
CH
When someone tries to beat you down,
you said to stand my ground, but then - let it go
When we had to move far from you,
you showed us what it took...to let us go.
B SECT (key change)
When I grew up I lost my hero,
'cause you let me down, time and time again.
I piled upon you all the blame,
wasted all those years before I let you in again.
(orig key)
I wanted you to understand,
but you didn't want to hear me,
you just wanted to be near me.
And so I chose to be your friend.
Just a call away, and we shared your days.
Then suddenly, your days ran out...
*instr bridge, long*
CH
Of all the things you ever taught me,
the last thing I recall is letting go.
When holding onto life beat you down,
I watched you stand your ground, but then you - let it go.
And now what's done can't be undone.
The time has come...to let you go.
Slumped over in my Brother's living room in front of wife and grandkids right after pre-thanksgiving grace. Sudden, fast, quick. Heart stopped, breathing stopped. Paramedics there in an instant and no one could revive.
Just wanted everyone to know music is here to heal -- Listening to Steely Dan "Home at Last". Yes Dad, after a life struggling with the true peace and meaning of home...you're there at last.
I miss you already.
*update, 1 month later*
Thanks again for the heartfelt wishes gang.
I found myself writing this song: first the music, then the lyrics, which took shape last Thursday, 3 weeks after his death. The song haunted me until Tuesday this week when I finished a draft of it and have felt much better since. Amazing process and first song I've written in many years (need to get back to that).
It's really personal, so you can skip if you want. But for some of you settling in with family for the Xmas holiday, for those who've been down this road already, and for those yet to travel it, maybe there's something in here for you.
LETTING GO
V
You wanted me to understand,
but I was much too young to hear you,
I just wanted to be near you.
Leaving, never coming back.
Our mamma did good and she raised us,
but our home would never be the same...
*instr bridge, short*
CH
Of all the things you ever taught me,
the first thing I recall was letting go.
When all that's done can't be undone,
I learned the time could come...for letting go.
V
Then came the man who beat us down.
Oh we wanted you to take us,
you said "brothers, be courageous."
Those were the years you were my hero.
You lived in the desert wild
And you helped us move to man, from child...
*instr bridge, longer*
CH
When someone tries to beat you down,
you said to stand my ground, but then - let it go
When we had to move far from you,
you showed us what it took...to let us go.
B SECT (key change)
When I grew up I lost my hero,
'cause you let me down, time and time again.
I piled upon you all the blame,
wasted all those years before I let you in again.
(orig key)
I wanted you to understand,
but you didn't want to hear me,
you just wanted to be near me.
And so I chose to be your friend.
Just a call away, and we shared your days.
Then suddenly, your days ran out...
*instr bridge, long*
CH
Of all the things you ever taught me,
the last thing I recall is letting go.
When holding onto life beat you down,
I watched you stand your ground, but then you - let it go.
And now what's done can't be undone.
The time has come...to let you go.
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