Dad Jokes

[fcs101]

Q: Why was the baby in jail?

A: Resisting a rest!

 

[Freds55]

What’s the name of Cardi B‘s super-fit gym-focused sister?
Cardi O.

 

[notalemming]

What's the name of Cardi B's large domesticated wild ox?

Cardi Yak

 

[Freds55]

Name the sailor who loves spinach pie?

Po-pie the Sailor Man!

 

[Kent]

A storm rolled through Colorado, picking up shipments of eggs and flour, and it now battering the Midwest!

 

[Freds55]

How do you cure a person with a pie allergy?
Use an E-pie pen on them.

 

[Freds55]

Q: Why did the skier always expect the worst when he reached the top of the mountain?
A: He knew it was all downhill from there…

 

[Freds55]

 

[fcs101]

Q: What'd the bartender say to the jumper cable?

A: "Don't start anything!"

 

[Freds55]

Why are scrambled eggs like a losing alpine skier?
Because they’ve both been beaten.

 

[notalemming]

 

[Freds55]

Why couldn’t the athlete listen to music?

Because she broke the record!

 

[fcs101]

Q: What do you call two crows?

A: An attempted murder!

 

[Freds55]

Former Olympic skier Pickabo Street donated money to a local hospital. In gratitude, the hospital named their emergency ward after her-- it's now the Picabo ICU.

 

[Freds55]

This one really cracked me up

 

[fcs101]

Q: What do you get if you cross a dyslexic, insomniac, and agnostic?

A: Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog.

 

[Freds55]

Why were the swimming elephants thrown out of the Olympics?

Because they couldn’t keep their trunks up!

 

[Freds55]

What lights up a soccer stadium?

A soccer match.

 

[bleujazz3]

Why do sophisticated women think soccer is a waste of time?

Because it's an exercise in futility.

 

[bleujazz3]

So I tried to discuss sports highlights with my co-worker, but all they could manage to say was, "I really like what you did with your hair."