Dad Jokes

Guy walks into a store, squinting, and asks the woman at the desk:

"Excuse me, Miss, by any chance do you know where my glasses are?"

"Sorry sir, this is the hearing aid department, glasses department is 3rd floor."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I've lost my glasses. Can you help me?"

"Yes sir. The glasses department is on the 3rd floor."

"No, miss, is there a lost and found in this store?"

"Yes sir. You lost your glasses. Glasses department is on the 3rd floor. Lost and found consists of people who have misplaced their hearing aids and other items. Do you also need hearing aids?"

"NO, miss, I just need to try to find my glasses which I've somehow misplaced in your store!"

"Oh. Why didn't you say so? Just a minute..."

Calls management. Speaks for a few seconds, is put on hold, then speaks again.

"Thank you. I'm sorry sir, no glasses were turned in recently."

"Mmm. Thank you. May I speak with your supervisor, please?

"I'm sorry, sir, but she's getting fitted for hearing aids and glasses at the moment. You might catch her on the 3rd floor."

"DON'T you folks ever provide good customer service!!??"

"Yes, sir. Glasses are on the 3rd floor. Enjoy your day."

"Augh! The world can gone insane, and no one seems to care!"

"I'm sorry sir, this is the hearing aid department. If you need replacement glasses, 3rd floor."

Storms out of building. Assistant manager walks in.

"Who was that guy?"

"Some old guy who couldn't hear what I was saying, and kept telling me he'd lost his glasses."

"Did you follow protocol?

"Yes, ma'm. Tried to tell him where he could find glasses, but he wasn't having it."

"Good work. Remind me to put your name in for employee of the month."

"Eh, no thanks. I can't see being honored for just doing my job."
 
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I took my 8-year-old daughter to the office on 'Take Your Kid To Work Day' But when we walked in the office she started to cry.

As concerned staff gathered round I asked her what was wrong and she
said:
"Daddy where are all the clowns you said you worked with?"
 
aaah ... Bread jokes ... remember the band Bread with David Gates?

They went stale and broke up
They used to work on the yeast coast
Their audiences would never rise to the occasion
Eventually, there was just no dough in it

I could go on ...
 
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