Dad Jokes

[mr_fender]

One that's actually from my Dad:

Do you know what the white stuff on top of chicken crap is?... It's chicken crap too.

 

[unix-guy]

My wife used to work at the airport until she accidentally backed into a moving propeller & disaster.

That one took some cogitation!

Edit:

To spell it out for anyone that may have trouble:

disaster == dis-assed her

 

[unix-guy]

I spilled spot remover on my dog... Now he's gone!

(thanks Steven Wright)

 

[dr bonkers]

What did the Buddha say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything!

 

[Rick]

How can you tell if a person telling you joke is a telling you a Dad Joke?

It's apparent.

 

[unix-guy]

What did the Buddha say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything!

Buddha was selling his hot dogs for 75¢.

A man bought one with a dollar but did not receive any money back. He asked for his change, and Buddha responded:

Change must come from within.

 

[TravisG406]

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.

 

[Kent]

 

[fcs101]

Q: How is listening to music like eating candy?

A: The first thing to do is throw away the (w)rapper!

 

[AlbertA]

Why did the banker quit his job?


Because he lost interest.

 

[notalemming]

Why did the banker quit his job?


Because he lost interest.

I just got a new apartment on the 2nd floor above a bank. Now my assets over $10 million!

 

[la szum]

Bunch of show offs! Lovin' it! Keep 'em comin'!

On a more philosophical note: After I posted this I was contemplating the fact that the beauty of a truly great Dad Joke is that it can keep you chuckling for hours...even if it was your own joke!

That's what the kids loathe the most, though---especially in the teen years. It doesn't stop me, though.

 

[JoKeR III]

What does a house wear?



Address

 

[JoKeR III]

How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves?



She fell out of the tree.

 

[JoKeR III]

A priest, a doctor and a lawyer all walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "what's this, a joke?".

 

[OrganicZed]

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

No one pays to have a garbanzo bean on their face.

 

[unix-guy]

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

No one pays to have a garbanzo bean on their face.

I think that's crossing the Dad-joke line... Still funny, but not a Dad joke.

 

[Maxsound1977]

This is the story of a guy, he walks into a bar and he says:
- Hi it's me!
And in fact, it wasn't him ...

 

[TSJMajesty]

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

No one pays to have a garbanzo bean on their face.

"Don't make me come back there!"

 

[JoKeR III]

Did you hear about the wedding of a couple of antennas? The ceremony wasn't very good but the reception was great!

Why did the pepper have to give up archery? He didn't Habanero