Cliff's Reviews

FractalAudio

Administrator
Fractal Audio Systems
Moderator
Today on Cliff's Reviews we'll be ranking my favorite coding beverage: Orange-Flavored Sparkling Water.

The four contestants are Bubly, La Croix, Canada Dry and Polar.

Fourth Place: Bubly
This stuff tastes like it was made by squeezing discarded orange peels found in a dumpster through an old gym sock and mixing the fungus and dirt juice with water from Flint MI. I wanted to like it because years ago I had the idea to start a seltzer company with the name "Bubbly Water". Sadly I do not. I don't know who creates the formulas or does taste testing at Bubly but I suspect they must've drank Clorox as a child and it screwed up their taste buds.

Third Place: La Croix
Yeah this stuff is all the rage with Millenials and people who use those "new pronouns" but to me it's tastes weird and is overpriced. One of my testing criteria for seltzer is how it tastes warm because I often fall asleep before I've finished a can and when I wake up I drink what's left. Gross, I know. When La Croix is warm it tastes like one of those 104-in-1 chemistry kits they used to make when I was a kid. The flavors are Frankensteiny and I picture some nerd in a white coat in a laboratory mixing random chemicals together to make the flavors. There's also a weird slippery feel like there is oil mixed in. Yuck.

Runner Up: Polar
When this stuff is cold it's very good. When it gets warm the quality of the water becomes evident and it tastes like they're using cheap city tap water. The flavors taste real and lack any strange chemical qualities. It's also the least expensive of the bunch which if, like me, you drink 20 cans a day eases the budget a bit.

Winner: Canada Dry
Everything about Canada Dry exudes quality. Warm or cold the flavors are natural and the water tastes crisp and clean. Our local supermarket ran out this week and I'm having withdrawal symptoms. The police brought me home the other night after they found me sleep walking and breaking into random houses looking my fix.

So if you're hunkered down grinding through thousands of lines of code with nary a comment my recommendation is to grab a few cases of Canada Dry Mandarin Orange seltzer and a few bags of Pirate's Booty and make the best of it.
 
I did a la croix taste test video. They all were horrible to me. Like lightly flavored dirty water hahaha. My younger friends can’t get enough of it. I don’t understand!
 
Alas Canada Dry doesn’t have as big a presence on the west coast as it does back east. My personal preference is Soleil. And if code is well structured it shouldn’t need much commenting.
 
Thanks for heads up on these, if I get some I'll go with Canada dry. Usually, when at home I'll squeeze some lime or lemon in some water.
 
I really like some of the Trader Joe's flavored seltzers. But I got pissed off at having to make sure it was in the house, paying for it, blah blah.

I'm really enjoying plain (Brita) water, cold. I'm good.
 
Apparently we need a warning for jokes. :)
It does seem like everything has a warning at times. I was just really surprised that Canada Dry did have that warning & other sparkling waters & even Coke Zero didn't! And actually, you are right. Living does cause cancer. Unfortunately, no joke.
 
It does seem like everything has a warning at times. I was just really surprised that Canada Dry did have that warning & other sparkling waters & even Coke Zero didn't! And actually, you are right. Living does cause cancer. Unfortunately, no joke.
They might pull the water from a well near a source of radon or something largely benign in trace amounts. That warning trips too easily IMO.
 
They had plain La Croix bubblewater in the free soda machines at the office last time I was there. It's ok. The name is a little bit punny, if you consider that seltzer is bubbly water, i.e., water with holes in it, ergo, holey water, and you happen to know that 'La Croix' is French for 'the cross'....
 
Back
Top Bottom