Being a sucker for sci-fi movies I had to give this one a try.
The screenplay for Time Trap is based on a short story written by the director's 10-year old nephew after his mom told him he had to finish his homework before he could play Fortnite. This brilliant piece of literary genius concerns what happens when a group of hormone-deficient students enter a cave looking for their missing professor.
In the foothills of Texas a hippie professor sets out to discover what happened to his hippie parents who went lost looking for the Fountain of Youth. Now we know why Ponce de Leon never found it. He was looking in the wrong place all along! It's in the outskirts of Austin, not Florida. Duh.
Anyways Professor Tie Dye finds his parent's VW Bus near a cave. He enters the cave and some things happen that even the most obtuse observer would ascribe to time moving slower inside the cave than outside. Professor Indigo then leaves the cave and goes back to his car. He finds his car overgrown with shrubbery but all that pot he smoked has dulled his perceptive abilities so he can't figure out the time paradox thing. He goes back to the cave for some reason.
Several days later his students are concerned he hasn't returned so they go looking for him. They consist of a couple girls in tank tops and cutoff jeans, a big dullard and a kid who watched The Lost Boys one too many times and thinks he's one of the Frog Brothers. The students find a different entrance to the cave where you have to rappel down. So they go in and their ropes break and they get trapped inside.
Now Prof. Peace Flower simply walked in a different entrance and that entrance is apparently only a few hundred feet away but for some reason the students never find that entrance despite finding the professor.
The students apparently smoked a lot of pot too because it takes nearly halfway through the movie before they put two-and-two together and figure out the time conundrum. All that pot smoking has also apparently dulled the dullards testosterone production because despite the two girls showing ample cleavage and butt cheeks he never even makes a single suggestive remark.
At one point an alien enters the cave which turns out to be a person from the "future" because hundreds of years have now passed outside. He dies because despite having superior intellect and weaponry a prehistoric cave dweller hits him with a rock.
Eventually everyone is saved by very tall, creepy looking aliens who are just very evolved humans and for some reason they are headed to Mars because the Earth is uninhabitable now.
Oh and the cave does contain the Fountain of Youth which is more a kiddie pool of youth but it does have mystical healing powers.
It is rumored that the nephew received a C+ on his homework assignment. It would've been a B- but he didn't run it through spell-check because he was running late for his Fortnite party.
So if you want to waste 90 minutes or so of your life and see some semi-hot chicks in skimpy outfits give Time Trap a try. It's better than Ad Astra.
The screenplay for Time Trap is based on a short story written by the director's 10-year old nephew after his mom told him he had to finish his homework before he could play Fortnite. This brilliant piece of literary genius concerns what happens when a group of hormone-deficient students enter a cave looking for their missing professor.
In the foothills of Texas a hippie professor sets out to discover what happened to his hippie parents who went lost looking for the Fountain of Youth. Now we know why Ponce de Leon never found it. He was looking in the wrong place all along! It's in the outskirts of Austin, not Florida. Duh.
Anyways Professor Tie Dye finds his parent's VW Bus near a cave. He enters the cave and some things happen that even the most obtuse observer would ascribe to time moving slower inside the cave than outside. Professor Indigo then leaves the cave and goes back to his car. He finds his car overgrown with shrubbery but all that pot he smoked has dulled his perceptive abilities so he can't figure out the time paradox thing. He goes back to the cave for some reason.
Several days later his students are concerned he hasn't returned so they go looking for him. They consist of a couple girls in tank tops and cutoff jeans, a big dullard and a kid who watched The Lost Boys one too many times and thinks he's one of the Frog Brothers. The students find a different entrance to the cave where you have to rappel down. So they go in and their ropes break and they get trapped inside.
Now Prof. Peace Flower simply walked in a different entrance and that entrance is apparently only a few hundred feet away but for some reason the students never find that entrance despite finding the professor.
The students apparently smoked a lot of pot too because it takes nearly halfway through the movie before they put two-and-two together and figure out the time conundrum. All that pot smoking has also apparently dulled the dullards testosterone production because despite the two girls showing ample cleavage and butt cheeks he never even makes a single suggestive remark.
At one point an alien enters the cave which turns out to be a person from the "future" because hundreds of years have now passed outside. He dies because despite having superior intellect and weaponry a prehistoric cave dweller hits him with a rock.
Eventually everyone is saved by very tall, creepy looking aliens who are just very evolved humans and for some reason they are headed to Mars because the Earth is uninhabitable now.
Oh and the cave does contain the Fountain of Youth which is more a kiddie pool of youth but it does have mystical healing powers.
It is rumored that the nephew received a C+ on his homework assignment. It would've been a B- but he didn't run it through spell-check because he was running late for his Fortnite party.
So if you want to waste 90 minutes or so of your life and see some semi-hot chicks in skimpy outfits give Time Trap a try. It's better than Ad Astra.