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Cliff's Reviews: Time Trap

FractalAudio

Administrator
Fractal Audio Systems
Moderator
Being a sucker for sci-fi movies I had to give this one a try.

The screenplay for Time Trap is based on a short story written by the director's 10-year old nephew after his mom told him he had to finish his homework before he could play Fortnite. This brilliant piece of literary genius concerns what happens when a group of hormone-deficient students enter a cave looking for their missing professor.

In the foothills of Texas a hippie professor sets out to discover what happened to his hippie parents who went lost looking for the Fountain of Youth. Now we know why Ponce de Leon never found it. He was looking in the wrong place all along! It's in the outskirts of Austin, not Florida. Duh.

Anyways Professor Tie Dye finds his parent's VW Bus near a cave. He enters the cave and some things happen that even the most obtuse observer would ascribe to time moving slower inside the cave than outside. Professor Indigo then leaves the cave and goes back to his car. He finds his car overgrown with shrubbery but all that pot he smoked has dulled his perceptive abilities so he can't figure out the time paradox thing. He goes back to the cave for some reason.

Several days later his students are concerned he hasn't returned so they go looking for him. They consist of a couple girls in tank tops and cutoff jeans, a big dullard and a kid who watched The Lost Boys one too many times and thinks he's one of the Frog Brothers. The students find a different entrance to the cave where you have to rappel down. So they go in and their ropes break and they get trapped inside.

Now Prof. Peace Flower simply walked in a different entrance and that entrance is apparently only a few hundred feet away but for some reason the students never find that entrance despite finding the professor.

The students apparently smoked a lot of pot too because it takes nearly halfway through the movie before they put two-and-two together and figure out the time conundrum. All that pot smoking has also apparently dulled the dullards testosterone production because despite the two girls showing ample cleavage and butt cheeks he never even makes a single suggestive remark.

At one point an alien enters the cave which turns out to be a person from the "future" because hundreds of years have now passed outside. He dies because despite having superior intellect and weaponry a prehistoric cave dweller hits him with a rock.

Eventually everyone is saved by very tall, creepy looking aliens who are just very evolved humans and for some reason they are headed to Mars because the Earth is uninhabitable now.

Oh and the cave does contain the Fountain of Youth which is more a kiddie pool of youth but it does have mystical healing powers.

It is rumored that the nephew received a C+ on his homework assignment. It would've been a B- but he didn't run it through spell-check because he was running late for his Fortnite party.

So if you want to waste 90 minutes or so of your life and see some semi-hot chicks in skimpy outfits give Time Trap a try. It's better than Ad Astra.
 

lscottk

Inspired
I saw this movie. I agree that it was lame. The whole cave man thing was silly. The cleavage was fun. The production values (it's debatable that there were production values) were bad, but I thought that the concept of going into a time warp when you enter a cave was an interesting take, and at least the movie didn't wimp out in the end and concoct a "happy ending". It's cool that a kid wrote it. I'll have to try this on my 13 year old son - "no League of Legands until you write a screen play." What kind of look will he give me?
 

FractalAudio

Administrator
Fractal Audio Systems
Moderator
I saw this movie. I agree that it was lame. The whole cave man thing was silly. The cleavage was fun. The production values (it's debatable that there were production values) were bad, but I thought that the concept of going into a time warp when you enter a cave was an interesting take, and at least the movie didn't wimp out in the end and concoct a "happy ending". It's cool that a kid wrote it. I'll have to try this on my 13 year old son - "no League of Legands until you write a screen play." What kind of look will he give me?
I don't know that a kid wrote it. That was (a failed attempt at) a joke.
 

muudrock

Experienced
I chuckled at both of these reviews....Unfortunately, it's because I've seen both of these landmarks of cinematic brilliance.
Maybe Jupiter Ascending next Cliff??
 

BBN

Fractal Fanatic
Now that was a good movie. Best line: "One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach, all the damn vampires.”
I'm always wondering why they haven't done a remake. They've done every other 80's movie, this one would surely be something they could butcher.
 

Stratoblaster

Fractal Fanatic
Ok, so now I have two movies I can skip...thanks for taking one (well, two now) for the team heh...looks like "Evil Brain From Outer Space" from 1965 would be a far more entertaining way to spend leisure time.

The last really good sci-fi movies I've re-watched recently and thoroughly enjoyed were "Blade Runner: 2049" and "Ex Machina".

BR2049 is a bit of a slow burn but I liked how the pacing, look, imagery, etc. gives it an outworldly, dreamy quality and the thought provoking questions it raises.

"Ex Machina" has an interesting sense of isolation and being removed from the everyday world that draws me into the 'bubble' it creates and just feels....weird and unsettling. It also raises a lot of interesting questions and things to ponder about AI, what it means to be human, etc. like BR2049.

Great movies...my kind of sci-fi.
 

simeon

Axe-Master
little known films with "time" in the title. give "time lapse" a go if you haven't seen it (from 2014). really great premise and a nice twist, only ruined slightly by the idiotic behaviour of the main protagonists
 

Scented Meat

Power User
Thoroughly enjoyable review. If this whole "guitar processor" thing doesn't work out for you there's a bright future ahead as the next Roger Ebert. ;)

Incidentally, isn't a time warp in a cave the premise for the German series "Dark"?
 

Dramelot

Power User
I was trying to find something on Netflix to watch the other day in SciFi section and came across Time Trap. Wasnt sure at first, but I had to finish it to see how it came out. It was good to escape for a bit and ponder. I do like happy endings, soo...
 
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