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  1. B

    Do you want to know more about the Step Sequencer?

    Revived this necro thread just to say how much I love this trick. You've solved a longtime frustration for me. Thank you!!!!
  2. B

    The Bad/Corny Dad Joke Thread...

    How do you throw a party in space? You "planet." Pulling up to the departures area at the airport with my wife. Skycap: "Carry your bag, sir?" Me: "No thanks, she can walk." Arthur ran in to the grocery store, held up the first cash register he saw, found it was empty, and was so mad he choked...
  3. B

    Anybody on a diet?

    Believe me, I wish with all my heart that my experience bore this out. Life would be much easier!
  4. B

    Anybody on a diet?

    I believed this for a long time, but the experience of getting fit in my mid-40's has changed my mind. In my mid-30's I lost 63 lbs in 9 months on a ketogenic diet. I didn't exercise at all, but with focus and consistency on the nutrition side, the pounds fell off rapidly. Fast forward 10 years...
  5. B

    Anybody on a diet?

    Fascinating. I'll look into this. Thank you!
  6. B

    Later man

    Some good folks on TGP, but they're far outnumbered by the know-it-alls and assclowns. After 7-8 years, something like 12,000 posts, and countless wasted hours there, I realized, "this place mostly irritates me, it contributes nothing to my life other than a way to pass the time, and probably...
  7. B

    Question about the drives in the FX8

    Love 'em. When I first got my FX8, I assumed there was no way the drives could replace my pedals. For years I'd swapped out pedals and finally was perfectly happy with a Timmy, a Wampler Sovereign, an Xotic SL Drive, and an Emma Stinkbug. Figuring I'd keep my pedals and use the FX8 for effects...
  8. B

    Anybody on a diet?

    Do you have any links on IF that you found particularly helpful? Would love to see them. I've been doing the 12 hour fast which is simply not eating for 12 hours between dinner and breakfast. Really it's a simple way of tricking my mind into not snacking around 8-9pm, which has always been my...
  9. B

    Cover Band: Do you match the guitar tones?

    They're mutually exclusive?
  10. B

    Best "cover songs" to get the crowd onto the dance floor?

    For a 40-50-something crowd of white folk, Start Me Up. As soon as those intro guitar chords ring out, the women start shaking that booty. HOWEVER, you will rue the day this song made it into your set list, and you may seriously consider outsourcing the main guitar part to a trained baboon. It's...
  11. B

    Anybody on a diet?

    Yes, though I don't really know what to call it. 3 meals a day with strict portion control, eliminated processed carbs, counting macros. Also doing CrossFit 4-5 days a week. Down 25 lbs in the past year, which isn't super fast but seems to be sustainable, and I feel incredible. But sore. ;)
  12. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    No worries!
  13. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    Ah. Yeah, I'm not in that camp. That screen is beautiful and I have an extra space in my rack. Add wireless control and my GAS is gone forever. Until the Axe FX IV. ;)
  14. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    I certainly haven't suggested that, so I assume you're referring to other people. Dumping or reducing the front panel screen would be a terrible idea.
  15. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    It's a weird tendency that's more pronounced on this forum than elsewhere, probably because we're all pretty enthusiastic about Fractal gear...some much more than others, LOL. In my mind it's a simple, innocuous thing to say, "Does the new version have XYZ feature that'd I'd love to have? No...
  16. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    What about this quote: Do you find difficult to follow?
  17. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    What if the Axe-FX II already does like 99% of what I want, and the only gap in functionality is the lack of a wireless interface? What's my incentive to upgrade? I never adjust my II during gigs, in fact I stick it under a stage riser and never look at it. Having a guitar player constantly on...
  18. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    1. It's a joke, intended in the same nonsensical spirit as the post I quoted. 2. You are correct, it's the ingredients that count, and my Axe-FX II's ingredients are more than adequate. I do not need better amp models; mine are already indistinguishable from great tube amps. I do not need 2,048...
  19. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    Thank you. This is all I'm saying. By the way, your MFC-101 is still serving me well, nearly 3 years later... :):):)
  20. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    No pissing match here, just a friendly discussion on a slow day.
  21. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    My experience with MIDI conversion to wireless, MIDI to PC, basically MIDI to anything but another dedicated MIDI device has pretty much been a pain. As an example, connecting my Axe-FX Ultra to my PC - through a Midisport 2x2, IIRC - was always a crapshoot as to whether the thing would work or...
  22. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    Fine. Put the wireless in the unit, make it controllable from my iPhone, make it a seamless experience so I don’t have to connect and troubleshoot some kludgy adapter. I’d buy one tomorrow.
  23. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    Huh? You're really going down some rabbit trails here. I am simply stating that the modern paradigm for UX in digital technology is wireless and device-agnostic. And I'm quite confident that we can do better than 40-year-old MIDI technology.
  24. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    Agree with you there. I also prefer good wireless over crappy.
  25. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    See last reply to BrainalLeakage. It’s about creating a modern, digital user experience, not about the specifics of one technology vs another.
  26. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    You’re missing the point. Why do you think the wireless capability is built into modern mixing consoles? Because modern users of digital technology expect their stuff to run on a variety of wireless devices as opposed to being chained to single UI. Fractal seems to be stuck in a pre-2010 UX...
  27. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    The poster I was replying to said the Axe FX III is designed for "professional touring and recording musicians," and that's the community I'm referring to. The Line 6 Pod was never an industry standard among that community. A Marshall Plexi has no need for a sophisticated UI because the UI is 5...
  28. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    Not sure, but I do know that you CAN buy a Bluetooth controllable coffee maker. For less than $2500.
  29. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    Modern pro touring rigs are filled with FOH consoles, monitor consoles, signal processors, and other gear that can be controlled wirelessly. This is becoming the industry standard, and Fractal is behind the curve in this regard.
  30. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    This. Absolutely right on.
  31. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    I'm a naysayer because I want Bluetooth? Triggered much?
  32. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    iPhone.
  33. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    Of course. Axe Edit is all I use at home, but I find it impractical to lug a laptop to and from band rehearsal. Portability is the main reason I use a Axe over an amplifier, and the more stuff you lug the more you defeat the purpose. I don’t have a tablet that can be spared for this, and I’m...
  34. B

    AxeFX III: What's Missing?

    Bluetooth. I'm not investing a couple grand to continue getting down on my knees and squinting at the front panel. I'll pull the trigger on this the same day that a Bluetooth UI becomes available.
  35. B

    Who's Planning To "Eventually" Move Up To The III?

    Not until they introduce a tablet or phone-based Bluetooth UI. I'm rather surprised this was omitted, when even the likes of Behringer have had this functionality in some of their gear for years. I am PERFECTLY happy with the tones of my Axe FX II and most of my patches run around 80% CPU, so I...
  36. B

    Comfortably numb - live cover

    I saw Brit Floyd earlier this summer (at Red Rocks...wow) and have to agree with you. LOVE BF, but this was next level. Great job!!!
  37. B

    Axe-Fx sighting

    Haven't seen an Ultra in awhile. It can definitely nail that tone. Mid gain stuff, not so much.
  38. B

    RIP Chester Bennington - Linkin Park

    I'm normally not the type to get broken up when celebrities pass, but it is DUSTY in here today. This the first time my kids and I have shared the heartache of losing a beloved musician. My kids are all late teens/early 20's...I introduced them to LP's music when they were younger, and LP has...
  39. B

    FX8 Mark II looks sweeeet!

    Agree. I prefer the looks of my Mk I and don't care about the new features, so I'll stand pat. It's annoying to have it devalued only a year after I bought it. But I have no plans to sell it, so for the moment it's only a loss on paper.
  40. B

    Axe-edit connection problems

    Are you running antivirus? If so, try turning it off and then starting Axe-Edit. These editors "phone home" at startup to see if there are any updates available on the Fractal server, and your antivirus program may be interfering with the connection, which can cause issues with startup. You...
  41. B

    This is the result of rampant outsourcing

    But it would be a true statement, to a large extent. There are language and cultural differences that absolutely impact the quality of an outsourced service, and the greater the language and cultural misalignment with the customer, the more quality will suffer. It's easy to bash India because...
  42. B

    Tips for modeling my favorite drives? (SL Drive, Sovereign, Timmy)

    Yes, I can shape the tone with EQ and compression, but the Fractal drives are so tweakable, with so many parameters, that I have to think a reasonable approximation of these tones can be had within the drive block itself.
  43. B

    Tips for modeling my favorite drives? (SL Drive, Sovereign, Timmy)

    Happy FX8 owner for about 9 months now. When I got the FX8, I thought the trickiest thing would be replacing my beloved dirt pedals, and that has indeed turned out to be the case. Currently I have an Emma Stinkbug, an Xotic SL Drive, a Wampler Sovereign, and a Timmy in MIDI-controlled loops...
  44. B

    Effortless pinch harmonics?

    IME the Rat is the screamin-est drive in the FX8. I get pinch harmonics easily running the Rat into a clean amp.
  45. B

    Fractal Audio AMP models: Atomica (Cameron Atomica)

    Such a fascinating series of threads. Thank you yek!
  46. B

    FX8 working with Axe Fx II XL+

    Yes, though it has to connect via MIDI, not FASLink. I have both an FX8 and an MFC 101, and the MFC is obviously quite a bit more capable as a MIDI controller. But the FX8 can certainly send program changes, continuous controllers, IA's, and scene selections. I don't remember whether or not...
  47. B

    FW 3.00 is a gigantic improvement

    I've loved my FX8 from the moment I got it, but the preset/scene/IA paradigm was a bit kludgy. I'm a heavily scene-dependent player - having become addicted to scenes in the Axe-FX II, I use them far more often than I use IA's or presets. But using the FX8 was a bit challenging with having to...
  48. B

    FX8 Edit will not run after 1.1 upgrade [SOLVED]

    This is resolved now. The issue was that my Avast antivirus was preventing FX8 Edit from "phoning home" for updates, which it does at startup. Disabling Avast fixes the issue. Now I have to fiddle with Avast settings to allow FX8 through the web shield, but at least I'm operational now...
  49. B

    FX8 Edit will not run after 1.1 upgrade [SOLVED]

    Thanks, I've raised a support ticket.
  50. B

    FX8 Edit will not run after 1.1 upgrade [SOLVED]

    Good thought on compatibility mode...unfortunately no luck running in compatibility mode for either Win7 or 8. Here's another weird thing: Axe-Edit (for my Axe-FX II) works fine, and I've upgraded it to the latest version. I wonder why Axe-Edit would work fine, but FX8-Edit won't even run?
  51. B

    FX8 Edit will not run after 1.1 upgrade [SOLVED]

    Correct on both...I was using the previous version successfully on Win10 and I uninstalled first. Now that you mention it, this is the first time I've done a clean install of FX8 Edit on Win10. The previous version of FX8 Edit was installed on Win7, and when I upgraded to Win10, it continued...
  52. B

    FX8 Edit will not run after 1.1 upgrade [SOLVED]

    Just upgraded FX8 Edit to 1.1 and FX8 Firmware to 3.00. The firmware upgrade went fine, but FX8 Edit won't run. It will not open at all - when I click on the icon, the Windows "thinking" wheel churns, but the program does not open and nothing else happens. I'm running Windows 10. The FX8 is...
  53. B

    AxePad - iPad controller for Axe-FX is launched!

    If you haven't already done this, you might contact the iTunes store, let them know the developer no longer supports the app, and ask them to take it down. Since it appears the developer doesn't want to do the right thing himself.
  54. B

    Boston's Foreplay/Longtime Quantum 1.02 Tone Test

    Spot on....+1 for sharing that patch!
  55. B

    Wait for AX8 -or- Axe FX II Mark II ....... same price :) ... :( ..... cant decide ..... ?

    I resent that. I'm not THAT bad. ;)
  56. B

    Axe FX as a delay/reverb processor only w/ tube amp - bypass?

    Yes, the noise gate is turned off. I could probably make some A/B recordings but will take a few days/weeks between travel, gigs, and doing new presets for FW 1.03.
  57. B

    Axe-Fx II "Quantum" Rev 1.03 Firmware Release

    That FAS Boost may be the best drive block they've ever produced. It's a great "more" pedal. Maintains the character of the amp block I'm using but with more hair, more sustain, more of all the good stuff. I love it. I'm assuming (hoping fervently) that that block will be in the next FX8...
  58. B

    Wait for AX8 -or- Axe FX II Mark II ....... same price :) ... :( ..... cant decide ..... ?

    That's a screamin' deal on a Mark II. I'd jump at it. The Axe-FX is really not that bad for making adjustments on the fly. Push Layout, navigate to the block you want to edit, push Edit, and the control you want to edit is probably right there and editable via the quick control knobs. I do...
  59. B

    How are you liking the sound of your FX8?

    I love it so much that I'm currently getting flamed in another thread for saying it's the best solution for 4CM! I could not be happier with my FX8. The thing that's blown me away is how amazingly transparent it sounds when used in conjunction with an amp. I use it with my Bogner Shiva in...
  60. B

    Axe FX as a delay/reverb processor only w/ tube amp - bypass?

    Really. John Petrucci is one of my favorite guitar players on earth, I'm glad he's joined the Fractal family and I'm glad this config works for him. It doesn't work for me. I'm not saying it's unusable - as I said earlier, it's acceptable - but for me it was far from optimal.
  61. B

    Axe FX as a delay/reverb processor only w/ tube amp - bypass?

    Not the cables, since the FX8 is very clearly better when using the same cables for both rigs. However, that occurred to me as well; my first response upon hooking up the Axe in the effects loop was "yuck, maybe I've got a bad cable here." I've used Lava ELC cables for everything for many...
  62. B

    Axe FX as a delay/reverb processor only w/ tube amp - bypass?

    I have not done a blind test between my AFX2 and FX8, but it would be a pretty quick test. The difference in sound and feel is very obvious. One uses blind tests to eliminate bias, but if anything, I was biased in favor of the AFX2 working! Believe me, I did not want to shell out an...
  63. B

    Axe FX as a delay/reverb processor only w/ tube amp - bypass?

    It's not great. Significant compression and high-end tone loss. It's acceptable, but not great. The FX8 is much better suited for this task. I have both, and I never use my AFX2 for this purpose. Always the FX8. It's much more transparent, sounds and feels just like being plugged into the amp.
  64. B

    AxeFx: Standard vs AxeFx II

    You will do yourself a gigantic disservice by getting a standard. It was lovely unit for its time, but the Axe II is light years better. It's not even a comparison. I kick myself for not upgrading sooner. You can find used Mark I's for around $1500. At that price this is an absolute no-brainer.
  65. B

    MIDI switching triaxis & Axe FX at the same time

    Yes, you just need to set the Axe-FX and the Traxis on different MIDI channels. A MIDI device will respond to messages on its channel, and ignore messages on other channels while passing them down the chain via its MIDI Thru port. So you could set your Axe-FX on MIDI channel 1, and the Triaxis...
  66. B

    mount MFC on pedaltrain- velcro only option ?

    I got some Dual Lock from Rooster at Trailer Trash Pedalboards to attach my FX8, and soon will do so with the MFC on another board. I imagine that industrial velcro would probably be OK, but the FX8 is heavy and I'm paranoid, so I went with the Dual Lock. It holds incredibly well, I can lift...
  67. B

    Joe Bonamassa on Fractal ;)

    Seriously, WTF. I got to stand about 5 feet away from Eric Johnson performing at Winter NAMM several years ago, and the last thing in the world I was thinking about was whipping out my dumbass phone so I could post some shaky video and crappy distorted phone audio on Facebook. What a dumb...
  68. B

    "competing" AC30 clip

    Threads about football, baseball, Star Wars, and dogs. Pretty entertaining. TGP is an OK place, but WADR, when you post a thread entitled "The Modeler Wars" outside the friendly confines of this forum, what do you expect? Fractal and the Axe-FX have been hotly debated on TGP for years, back...
  69. B

    Axe FX2 overkill for me?

    Because people are fond of making dumb comparisons between modelers and tube amps, and then arguing about it ad infinitum. All that matters is, "How well does this work for me." The Ultra's low and mid-gain models - blackface, brownface, etc - never worked for me. The II's work beautifully...
  70. B

    Axe FX2 overkill for me?

    I thought the same until I upgraded from the Ultra to the II. The amp models in the II are LIGHT YEARS better than the Ultra. I was blown away immediately, particularly by how much better the clean and mid-gain tones are. You can pick up an original version Axe-FX II for around $1600...for...
  71. B

    How much would you pay for fractal?

    1. Actually 1971; 2. Your grammar is as reprehensible as your sentence structure; 3. You spent nearly 10% of your annual take-home on a rack unit. That makes guitar sounds. And it's the most important thing in your life, including family members. I'd ask who is the loser here, but this is too...
  72. B

    How much would you pay for fractal?

    TLDR. Be advised that paragraph breaks cost nothing.
  73. B

    How much would you pay for fractal?

    That's scary, and a good recipe for perpetual poverty. Hmmm, how to put this without sounding like a dick? I'll just say that I make a lot more than that, and I would not pay the current retail price for the II XL+. I waited to pull the trigger on my II until I found a good deal on a used one...
  74. B

    FX8 and Pedalboards

    I used Dual Lock velcro from Rooster at Trailer Trash. There's an instructional vid on his website. It's extremely secure...I can turn the board upside down and shake it, and the FX8 doesn't move.
  75. B

    And Finally Scored One of These

    Does Fractal ever share gear wish lists with this community? I sold a mint JMP-1 not long ago...would have gladly sold it to Cliff rather than a random eBayer.
  76. B

    Finally Scored One

    Amps like this one are (IMHO) the biggest differentiator of the Axe II over the Ultra. Having stepped up to the II recently after stubbornly gigging my beloved Ultra for years, I was blown away by the Blackface, Brownface, and other low to med gain models. I always struggled to get those tones...
  77. B

    Bought AXE FX 2 returned...not exactly happy

    Hmmm....I think I've already said everything I needed to... -The faithful are too unquestioning in their defense of Fractal (check) -Cliff did a nice job of responding to this one. Hey, turns out he can defend himself! (check) -Cozumel rocks (check) -Stratman finds this all very upsetting...
  78. B

    Bought AXE FX 2 returned...not exactly happy

    You're not kidding. I'm a little amazed that this is still going on. And these guys have it pretty easy, compared to some of us! Try being an Egnater fan. ;)
  79. B

    Liquid Foot Jr+

    They're the most powerful, flexible MIDI controllers out there. It's hard to imagine a scenario they could not handle. The new X Series looks amazing, it's supposed to be released in August. The concern you always hear is support, but it seems like people get good results by using the...
  80. B

    Can i use stompboxes with FX8?

    Absolutely. I use the FX8 this way. If you want to get creative with MIDI control for the outboard pedals, do what I did and add an RJM Mini Effect Gizmo into the mix. The pedals sit in the RJM's true bypass loops. The FX8 controls the RJM via MIDI, so it puts the pedal of my choosing into...
  81. B

    Which Ernie Ball VP-JR should I use?

    The only advantage is that it frees up a block. Several disadvantages...can't move it around in the signal chain as easily, and you're locked into using it as volume only. If you want to free up a block, you could use the EV1 as an expression pedal configured to control volume globally. The...
  82. B

    Which Ernie Ball VP-JR should I use?

    Both work but are not ideal. Because of the taper of the pot, most of the action happens in the first inch of travel. Terrible for slow swells or fine adjustments. You can tweak the controller curve to help somewhat, but it's not ideal. I'm going to swap my VP jr for an actual expression pedal.
  83. B

    Bought AXE FX 2 returned...not exactly happy

    Never said this particular beef was legit, never said Fractal did anything wrong...only that it would be worth asking a few questions and understanding the situation before we break out the pitchforks. Reading comprehension not a strong suit? At least I have the margaritas as my excuse...
  84. B

    FX8 compatibility with a Marshall JVM 410H (channel switching)

    I use two amps, a Bogner Shiva and an Egnater Mod50. The Mod50 uses MIDI for channel switching (it's a 4-channel amp). I did not use the MIDI table you mentioned in the manual. The information you need is 1. what MIDI channel does your amp receive on, and 2. what program change numbers are...
  85. B

    FX8 compatibility with a Marshall JVM 410H (channel switching)

    Correct. Very easy to set this up, by the way. Took me about two minutes to set the FX8 to switch channels on my amp via MIDI. It can send a program change message with each scene, which is very useful.
  86. B

    Bought AXE FX 2 returned...not exactly happy

    Such an amazing place...but these heavy-handed bartenders seem intent on erasing my memories as fast as I can create them! ;)
  87. B

    Bought AXE FX 2 returned...not exactly happy

    Yes it does, and Cliff debunked it nicely. My issue is that it seems to be very difficult to post a beef about Fractal on here - even a legitimate one - without calling down hellfire upon oneself. In order to complain about something, you must be a longtime forum member, with a suitably high...
  88. B

    Bought AXE FX 2 returned...not exactly happy

    I know...how dare I. ;) I have vexed the faithful, and they are sorely vexed.
  89. B

    Wish It would be great if each switch had a small LCD screen

    If Fractal released a controller with the MFC's features plus individual LCD screens, USB connectivity, and ability to set tempos on a per-song basis, I'd be at the top of the wait list. Heaven help me if they ever do that...my budget can't take anymore.
  90. B

    Humbuster Cables

    If you contact Best-Tronics directly, (Best-Tronics Manufacturing) they have a variety of lengths and can custom build any length you need.
  91. B

    Bought AXE FX 2 returned...not exactly happy

    You guys and your knee-jerk reactions defending Fractal are facepalm-worthy. 3 out of 4 of the first responses are blind defenses of Fractal. I love Fractal as much as the next guy - I've had an Ultra, a II, an FX8, and an MFC - but Fractal is not perfect, I'm sure they screw up from time to...
  92. B

    Which MIDI Controller?

    Lots of MIDI controllers have that capability - Liquid Foot, RJM, Fractal's own MFC - but they're all overkill if you just want to hook up some expression pedals. That MIDI solutions controller you linked is probably the best answer.
  93. B

    Wish Custom MIDI message per Song

    If you're talking about the way it is now, you're exactly right. Having the tempo tied to a preset is a huge limitation. This is the genius of the solution I'm suggesting in my original post. If you tie the tempo to the SONG rather than any specific PRESET, it solves all these problems...
  94. B

    In ear monitoring live

    This was the reason I used to have the setup I referenced with one channel of my wireless pack devoted to Axe-FX only. We had this sound guy who would start randomly messing with the channel gains on the board DURING GIGS. Not to control clipping, but to make changes to the FOH mix. Yes, with...
  95. B

    In ear monitoring live

    Board feed into 1964 custom mold IEM's. I've found this is the most accurate way to tell what my Axe-FX tone will sound like in the final analysis. All of our sets are professionally mixed and posted online, and the tone I get live in my IEM's is extremely close to the tone in the final mix...
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    Wish Custom MIDI message per Song

    ^^^ That's what the MFC does, in simplified form. You can configure a custom MIDI message that gets sent when the preset is loaded (just one message). And you can set it up to auto-load the first preset when a bank or song is selected. Problem is, the MIDI message is still tied to the...
  97. B

    Wish Custom MIDI message per Song

    Say the first preset in Song #1 might be Preset #20 on both the MFC and the Axe. I save that preset on the Axe at the appropriate tempo for Song #1. The first preset in Song #2 might also be Preset #20 on the Axe, but I need to change the tempo. To do this, I do the following: -make Preset...
  98. B

    Wish Custom MIDI message per Song

    Cliff made a comment along the lines of "we sell out of MFC's as fast as we can build them," so evidently our issues are not an impediment to sales. ;) And in fairness, they have their hands full and are doing a great job with firmware updates for the Axe-FX and new product intros. But I'm...
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    Wish Custom MIDI message per Song

    Possible, but those are kludgy workarounds, not solutions. Liquid Foot has this capability so it can't be that difficult. I use big, complex presets and its inefficient to maintain many instances of the same preset that are identical aside from tempo. If I use that preset for 10 songs with...
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    What would you get in mean time?

    LOL, tough crowd. OP, how dare you irk the faithful by expressing frustration. Thankfully I got on the wait list early, so I have my FX8. Prior to getting it, I embarked on a similar search, and the closest thing I came up with was a TC G System. It has all the features you listed with the...
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