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  1. Xrocker

    Fun News Item Of the Day

    If it weren’t for drugs Americans would know nothing about the metric system.
  2. Xrocker

    Bill Bruford's Metal Album?

    Starless blew my mind when I first heard it. Fripps single note acending and descending solo still is some of the coolest guitar work I’ve ever heard. How could something that simple be so complex? Or how could something so complex be so simple? Or both?
  3. Xrocker

    I Lost my wife last night

    Hey boardwlk17, So sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. I can definitely relate. It’s been one month for me. I keep waiting for the tide to stop coming in but I’m still aimlessly treading water. It just sucks shopping and cooking for one. I still haven’t been able to go to any of our...
  4. Xrocker

    I Lost my wife last night

    Hey TSJMajesty and everyone else. Thanks for checking in. It’s nice to know that someone is thinking about me. Its kind of been me against the world these last few weeks. My wife’s daughter, who had been in this house twice in the 24 years we were together, had her mother sign a will. I stepped...
  5. Xrocker

    Fun News Item Of the Day

    Mom threw away my best porno mags. You gotta fight For your right To Paaaarty!
  6. Xrocker

    The New Dune Movie Trailer…

    Emily Latilla: WHAT’SO BAD ABOUT ROBOTS??? Chevy: That’s reboots, not robots. Emily: Oh, that’s very different. Never mind. Yeah, I’m old. I remember groupies and when SNL was funny.
  7. Xrocker

    Another Rock and Roll Legend Dies

    The end of an era. Rock and Roll used to be so much fun! https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/sweet-sweet-connie-hamzy-grand-funk-railroad-dead-obituary-1216117/
  8. Xrocker

    RIP Charlie Watts

    Keith’s cells have been enhanced by years of chemicals and drugs. He is impervious to chemical or biological attack. If he doesn’t climb any more coconut trees he will live forever.
  9. Xrocker

    In case you have seen this yet

    It just cracks me up that he took one of the most advanced robots on the planet and turned it into the Pissbot 9000! His next project will be playing pong on a Quantum computer. I can relate though. I get as much joy as he was having when I play Smoke on the Water through my AxeFX🤟
  10. Xrocker

    Useless observation of the day

    I feel like the u in cantaloupe.
  11. Xrocker

    Mohini Day Countdown

    Bop ‘til you drop.
  12. Xrocker

    Tide pod challenge wasn't so bad.....

    The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one. Now I guess I have to add a licked one?
  13. Xrocker

    If you’re looking for work as a guitar player…

    I’m glad to see that I still have a path forward in my career!
  14. Xrocker

    Which Guitarists Have You Discovered, Maybe Late In Their Career, That You Never Knew Were Badass?

    I had the coolest guitar teacher when I first started. His name was Denny Oliver. He would drive up to my parents house in Utah in his Corvette for my lessons. He was a former studio guitarist for the Beach Boys. When the Beatles came to America in’64 the Beach Boys decided to become the best...
  15. Xrocker

    I Lost my wife last night

    Thanks for asking Pauly. I’m hanging in there. Had a couple of better days and then fell back into the abyss yesterday. To be expected. Picked up her remains from the crematorium this morning and am working to get her laid to rest in Estes Park Colorado. Was her favorite place on earth. I want...
  16. Xrocker

    I Lost my wife last night

    Yeah, that’s the part about getting old that I hate the most. I can handle being fatter and uglier and slowing down and having everything hurt all the time. I knew that stuff was coming. I wasn’t ready to outlive everyone I cared about.
  17. Xrocker

    People of Target...

    Looks like she just missed the target.
  18. Xrocker

    I Lost my wife last night

    I’m still standing was the story that Denver’s entertainment newspaper wrote 20 years ago when I first re-invented the crazy career path that I’m still on. https://www.westword.com/music/hes-still-standing-5065324
  19. Xrocker

    I Lost my wife last night

    Hey Raccoon, so sorry to hear about your wife . I wish you both the best of luck. Be sure and ask your wife’s doctors to biopsy her tumor and do a STRATA test on it. That will determine if she is a candidate for any genetically targeted treatment for her. There are more of those treatments...
  20. Xrocker

    I Lost my wife last night

    Thanks @Patzag. I’ve appreciated all your help through the years both here and in the Parker forums.
  21. Xrocker

    I Lost my wife last night

    Thanks Yek. I’ve appreciated all you have done for me and everyone else in the Fractal community.
  22. Xrocker

    I Lost my wife last night

    Thanks Matt. I’ve been a Fractal Fanatic since 2008z I’m Fractal for life. I will always be a part of this community and my only hope is that some of the music I create with the AxFx will live longer than I do. The outpouring from the Fractal community is truly is truly appreciated and is...
  23. Xrocker

    I Lost my wife last night

    After a horrific five year battle with cancer my life partner is finally out of pain. She walked in to one of my shows 24 years ago and we’ve been together ever since.we never saw the point of a formal ceremony but we shared all of life’s ups and downs and were as there for each other as much...
  24. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III Firmware Release Version 16.05

    So that’s where my career went!
  25. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III Firmware Release Version 16.05

    It’s a cherry coke with a PhD.
  26. Xrocker

    Going Crypto

    Buy and hold silver and gold! What the government can’t find they can’t steal.
  27. Xrocker

    Mozart…sense of humor

    Mozart was the first rocker. I’ve always love MC Hawking. So did Steven Hawking! He had a great sense of humor.
  28. Xrocker

    The secret of Stradivarius violins finally uncovered?

    Gee, like the torrified guitars they are building now? What’s old is new again.
  29. Xrocker

    Any Singers.... Or Wanna-Be Singers Here?

    60 years old and still hitting the high notes on 40 plus songs a night.
  30. Xrocker

    This pedal was designed by the US DMV

    How do you know it’s not there already?
  31. Xrocker

    commercial jingles??

    I took jingle classes at Berklee with Jon Aldrich. He was partners with the guy who wrote some of the very first jingles. Aldrich had a 3 story condo in Boston, race horses and dogs and a private jet. Figured this was a good guy to study. My senior year he wrote ‘just for the taste of it, Diet...
  32. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III Factory Preset Banks 16p03 - Preview

    I get so many requests for this song at my live shows. No excuse not to learn it now! I just need to add the violin patch for the end.
  33. Xrocker

    Fractal cancelled my order, and refused to ship

    Strong contender for post of the year!
  34. Xrocker

    The old Axe-FX Forum is dead

    Like Cliff dropping the very first AxeFx in the ocean?
  35. Xrocker

    Definitely a problem...

    I just sold my yellow beast equipment truck that I’ve had for 30 years 😳. So sick of ugly freaking yellow. Here’s my new one. Only one name seemed fitting. Vanna White
  36. Xrocker

    Intervals by ear

    After 3 years of Solfege at Berklee I got to the point where I could sight sing just about any melody. Took 4th year class in fixed Do solfege. That’s where C is Do no matter what key you are in. It melted my brain. I have half/perfect pitch. I can sing the first note and tonic of any song...
  37. Xrocker


    Don’t think the UFOs around our aircraft carriers and fighter jets will pan out as real. We all know that advanced civilizations capable of interstellar travel are only interested in crazy people’s butt-holes.
  38. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III Cygnus Factory Preset Banks A, B, and C

    I want to load the new banks A,B, and C into banks B,C,and D. Can’t figure out how to do that. My Bank A on Axe is for my live patches. I want to audition a new patch then drop it into bank A if I find it useful.
  39. Xrocker

    Terry Kath

    Terry Kath was the reason I became a full time musician. My whole life changed when I heard Chicago Transit Authority when I was a kid. That guitar with those horns! Here’s a speech I gave on the subject.
  40. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III Firmware Release Version 16.02

    This update should be called Flypaper. I keep getting stuck on different amps.
  41. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III Firmware Release Version 16.02 Public Beta

    That is my favorite reverb trick for guitar and mixing. I read an article that the reverbs at Abbey Road studios rolled off at 600hz.. Never had problems either reverb mud after learning this.
  42. Xrocker

    Any Apple Airtag Users?

    I stapled one to my forehead so I could find myself.
  43. Xrocker

    Ever give up playing?

    I quit several times a day.
  44. Xrocker

    Drinking alcohol while creating a preset?

    That’s why I insist that my audience gets drunk before I do😀
  45. Xrocker

    Drinking alcohol while creating a preset?

    I once failed a calculus test because I was drunk. Don’t drink and derive! Man, when I start telling math jokes I know I need to go out and get laid.
  46. Xrocker

    Drinking alcohol while creating a preset?

    Patches changeing when the alcohol wears off is nothing compared to some of the women I’ve met while drinking.
  47. Xrocker

    Dang! Wood is expensive these days...

    It ain’t because trucks aren’t rolling. I just drove I80/90. 100 miles each side of Chicago was 3 lanes bumper to bumper Semi trucks. I’ve driven this road dozens of times and never saw it like this.
  48. Xrocker

    Just Like Elvis

    There’s metal and then there’s METAL
  49. Xrocker

    Just Like Elvis

    He died on the throne. https://www.nme.com/news/music/deceased-drummer-sits-behind-own-kit-at-his-funeral-2931316
  50. Xrocker

    How To Prank A Guitar Player

    I can do air harmonics, but it usually clears the room.
  51. Xrocker

    Gearslutz changed it’s name!?

    The Pussification of America continues. I can’t even call myself a gearslut, which I proudly am, because it might offend someone who doesn’t even lust for gear.
  52. Xrocker

    Suggestions for instrumental classic rock?

    I get people up and dancing with the Ventures and Dick Dale. In all my years of gigging I didn’t see that coming.
  53. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III 16.00 Beta 12 "Cygnus" Firmware - Public Release Candidate

    It’s very hard to recognize one’s inherent bias!
  54. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III 16.00 Beta 12 "Cygnus" Firmware - Public Release Candidate

    Thanks Cliff seems so understated. Man, this is fun!
  55. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III 16.00 Beta 11 "Cygnus" Firmware - Public Beta #8

    That’s a big freakin vegetable!
  56. Xrocker

    Other hobbies!

    Those need to be headstocks! Hawaii metal band with Lei O Mono guitars.
  57. Xrocker

    My greatest fear ...

    I asked her if she would find someone new when I died. “Yes” Would you let him live in my house? “Yes” Would you let him sleep in our bed? “Yes” Would you let him play my guitars? “No, he’s left handed”
  58. Xrocker

    Hubble Cygnus image (Veil Nebula)

    My nights behind the eyepiece have probably been my only moments of true peace I’ve had in my lifetime. The absolute thrill and wonder of seeing a very small fraction of what’s out there washes away all the cynicism of daily life and takes me back to my childhood when unknowns were thrilling...
  59. Xrocker


    I’m watching this tomorrow! Had 2 near misses with Zappa. I was a 15 year old kid obsessed with Frippertronics in 1975. Had 2 TEAC 4channel reel to reels. Someone hired me to record this band in Salt Lake City. Best musicians I’d ever heard. Turned out to be Air Pocket with Tom and Bruce...
  60. Xrocker

    Hubble Cygnus image (Veil Nebula)

    This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Also happens to be my favorite deep sky object. I’ve spent hours and hours observing the Veil Nebula from one end to the other through a variety of filters and high magnification. Never dreamed I’d see it like this though! I felt like I arrived...
  61. Xrocker

    Changing a pickup’s resistance?

    Yeah, it’s Ohm’s law not Ohm’s suggestion.
  62. Xrocker

    ADA MP1 Repair? Also Roland Space Echo RE-101 repair

    Man, this got me remembering when I had old analog equipment that needed work. Remember Fuzzy in Denver? Over by the old Ziggies Saloon. Dude was a cross between a leprechaun and a traumatized Vietnam vet. He could fix anything. He rebuilt my first amp. 64 Fender Vibro Champ which I still own...
  63. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III 16.00 Beta 11 "Cygnus" Firmware - Public Beta #8

    No wonder I relate to it so much! I just had an incredible gig last Saturday using Beta 10. The guitars were just slaying on nearly every song. Loaded Beta11 up today. Just Wow! I’ve been tweaking Fractal knobs since 2008 chasing the elusive tone and feel that just jumps out of this thing...
  64. Xrocker

    You guys are in for another treat.

    I always wondered about that guy!
  65. Xrocker

    You guys are in for another treat.

    Ajax was also a god of war. Was defeated by Mr.Clean at the battle of Water Loo.
  66. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III 16.00 Beta 10 "Cygnus" Firmware - Public Beta #7

    I’ll stake out supporting codependent.
  67. Xrocker

    OK, let’s be honest, which one are you?

    Probably lost his high school girlfriend to a guitarist.
  68. Xrocker

    Parker Fly Owners and Fans

    @Stratoblaster. The P90 and the HB from Vintage Vibe fit right into the Fly with no mods at all. Very slick. Ive played my Parker’s to death for the last 20 years but with the improvements in the Axe3 I’ve really started to notice that the pickups aren’t quite there. I keep trying other...
  69. Xrocker

    Parker Fly and Cygnus

    Here are a couple clips of my 96 Parker Fly that I just retrofitted with a Vintage Vibe Humbucker and a P90 in the neck position. Here’s the P90. https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/uUxU6MR6mkTKn7JY9 Here’s the HB. https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/TVuo4bydTqjf52bY7
  70. Xrocker

    Remember the dead Jammit app?

    Well... if you can’t jammit, crammit.
  71. Xrocker

    OK, let’s be honest, which one are you?

    +1 Fractal Parker snob. With a side of Metric Halo.
  72. Xrocker

    OK, let’s be honest, which one are you?

    I’m a cross between 9 and 11. https://www.musicradar.com/news/11-types-of-guitar-tone-snob
  73. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III 16.00 Beta 8 "Cygnus" Firmware - Public Beta #5

    The Placebo would be a great amp model. It would sound however you believed it sounds.
  74. Xrocker

    Reverted back to FW 15 - created presets missing from AXE and backups

    I had a bunch of blank presets when I loaded beta7. Wasn’t worried because I frequently back up. Loaded beta8 and refreshed AxeEdit and everything is back.
  75. Xrocker

    It was good!

    Probably some fat mathematician. Too much Pi.
  76. Xrocker

    It was good!

  77. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III 16.00 Beta 5 "Cygnus" Firmware - Public Beta #2

    It’s been years since I’ve used the ignore feature, but it is sure coming in handy in this thread.
  78. Xrocker

    Parker Fly Owners and Fans

    @Patzag. I’ll be sure to keep you informed. You’ve been such a help to me through this forum as well as the old and new Parker forums! Just trying to wrap my head around wiring the p90. I’m assuming if I wire the hot from the P90 to where the original HB was soldered to I’ll still have both...
  79. Xrocker

    Parker Fly Owners and Fans

    I just got a couple custom pickups for my 96 Parker Fly from Peter @ Vintage Vibe Guitars. A new hb for the bridge and a P90 for the neck. Im stoked. Can’t wait to breath some new life into the old girl. I’ll keep everyone posted when I have some results.
  80. Xrocker

    Bug in Cygnus Beta 5?

    I can see this thread devolving into dozens of Henny Youngman one liners.
  81. Xrocker

    Guitar Instrumentals?

    There are so many incredibly talented musicians in the world. It is so disheartening that the music industry fails so miserably at promoting those who create great art. I recently watched a home video of Robert Fripp. A fan asked him how he was dealing with the craziness of the lockdown and...
  82. Xrocker

    Anyone else into proper hot chillies?

    I’m addictive to Thai food. I always keep a roll of toilet paper in the freezer.
  83. Xrocker

    Which Audio Interface Is Your Favorite with Axe-Fx III?

    Besides my ULN8 I’ve got a 20 year old 2882. They sent a couple of boards that I popped in myself and now it has all the capabilities of a brand new unit. Future proof indeed!
  84. Xrocker

    Which Audio Interface Is Your Favorite with Axe-Fx III?

    Metric Halo ULN8! I no longer need a mixing board or any outboard gear. Even for live shows. 2nd best piece of gear I have ever bought.
  85. Xrocker

    Guitar Instrumentals?

    I’ve been digging Opal Ocean. Creative rhythms and guitar percussion. Apparently one cactus REALLY likes this song.
  86. Xrocker

    Not everyone should sing the National Anthem

    That would be free jazz only because no one would be willing to pay for it.
  87. Xrocker

    How long can you remember how to play a song?

    I always hope to be able to remember a song at least until it’s end.
  88. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III 16.00 Beta 4 "Cygnus" Firmware - Public Beta

    As a former Bostonian I’d have to say that Cygnus is wicked pissa.
  89. Xrocker

    What is the meaning of "staging from sex"?

    The only cable advise that made sense was what I learned from my old friend Kevin Lewis who started Performance Audio in Salt Lake City. This was when I had racks of power amps for my P.A. He taught me to buy oversized oxygen free pure copper speaker cables. Something like 0 gauge. It was like...
  90. Xrocker

    [EDIT] Perseverance landing video

    I’m glad to see they’ve upgraded the cameras in the studio they used to fake the moon landings!😀 The reason they didn’t land in a populated area is because of the pandemic. You can’t hire enough extras right now and the ones you can would be wearing masks. That would be a dead giveaway!
  91. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III 16.00 Beta 4 "Cygnus" Firmware - Public Beta

    Kind of like St. Patrick freeing us from snakes and then saying he might be back with a new improved snake.
  92. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III 16.00 Beta 4 "Cygnus" Firmware - Public Beta

    Here’s my first indicator of how fantastic this is. My face is as sore as my fingers.
  93. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III 16.00 Beta 4 "Cygnus" Firmware - Public Beta

    Yeah, he could lend one to Cliff for awhile. It’s not like he’s touring right now.
  94. Xrocker

    Axe-Fx III 16.00 Beta 4 "Cygnus" Firmware - Public Beta

    I may have to change my username to Chucklehead. Not much of a stretch anyway.
  95. Xrocker

    Cygnus Beta - first impressions

    I can’t wait to play a Cygnus patch in D minor. The saddest of all keys. People are going to burst into tears.
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