The Bad/Corny Dad Joke Thread...

[shredsquatch]

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall down a cliff.
Baa-dum-pum-TSSSS.
----
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
When he asked who the best composer was, they all said, "Bach, Bach-Bach-Baaaaach."
----
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
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I named my hard drive "dat ass" so once a month, my computer asks me if I want to "back dat ass up."

AWESOME!!!

 

[grandinq]

As a history teacher and corny dad, this might be the most clever one I’ve seen.

 

[Genghis]

What do you do to an elephant with three balls?



Walk him, and pitch to the giraffe!

 

[Tahoebrian5]

Not really a joke, but famous to me quotes from my dad

A little pain never hurt anyone

It'll feel better when it stops hurting.

 

[Toopy14]

It'll feel better when it stops hurting.

It hurts when I do this...

Well don't do that!

 

[symphx]

It hurts when I do this...

Well don't do that!

As an md I say this nearly daily

 

[symphx]

My grandpa said

Don’t worry nothing will be ok

How are u? Steady but shakey.

For richer or poorer—-it’s nice to have money.

In restaurants he’d ask if they take Russian Express. Died last year at 99

 

[Toopy14]

As an md I say this nearly daily

Patient: "Dr., it hurts when I do this."

Dr.: "Well don't do that!"

 

[Toopy14]

Yogi Berra, when asked about directions to his house.

'When you get to the fork in the road, take it!'

 

[Toopy14]

The dad joke generator...happy Father’s Day!

https://www.cnn.com/interactive/2016/06/us/dad-joke-generator/

 

[unix-guy]

The dad joke generator...happy Father’s Day!

https://www.cnn.com/interactive/2016/06/us/dad-joke-generator/

I literally spent the last 10 minutes there reading these to my wife and kids!

 

[Toopy14]

I literally spent the last 10 minutes there reading these to my wife and kids!

Some of them are actually pretty funny!

 

[Geezerjohn]

Need an Ark built? I Noah guy.

 

[Sonofiam]

Me to Granddad: "Are you ready?"
Granddad: "Ready's brother!"

 

[guitarded]

You know why a Shetland pony can’t sing?
He's always a little hoarse...