How do you guys stop your wife talking?

P

pauly

Fractal Fanatic
Ok Fellas - This is for real!

Every time I pick up an instrument, my missus starts talking at me... expecting me to listen, and provide considered responses.... And play.

How the hell can I play while I'm nodding my head and saying 'uhhuh...yep..uhuh'....

I bought her a bottle of Cointreau but that just made it worse!

Pauly
 
pauly said:
Ok Fellas - This is for real!

Every time I pick up an instrument, my missus starts talking at me... expecting me to listen, and provide considered responses.... And play.

Heow the hell can I play while I'm nodding my head and saying 'uhhuh...yep..uhuh'....

I bought her a bottle of Cointreau but that just made it worse!

Pauly
Click to expand...

I tell mine I need some time on my own.
 
Honestly, I just tell her to go away for a while. She's understanding enough to know I want time on my own, so after playfully getting in my face for a few minutes (and me rolling my eyes) she generally leaves me to my own devices. :)
 
Is she "generally" supportive of your playing ? Are you in a band ? Does she come out to see you play all the time ?

Sounds to me like a passive-aggressive way of competing for your time & attention ?
 
Haha thanks fellas,

Some creative replies there - she's usually pretty good.....just sometimes oversteps a little and kills any chance of me playing so I put on a couple of songs and move us both outa there. Frustrating.
Such is life.

Thanks
Pauly





pauly said:
Ok Fellas - This is for real!

Every time I pick up an instrument, my missus starts talking at me... expecting me to listen, and provide considered responses.... And play.

How the hell can I play while I'm nodding my head and saying 'uhhuh...yep..uhuh'....

I bought her a bottle of Cointreau but that just made it worse!

Pauly
Click to expand...
 
BigD1977 said:
Honestly, I just tell her to go away for a while. She's understanding enough to know I want time on my own, so after playfully getting in my face for a few minutes (and me rolling my eyes) she generally leaves me to my own devices. :)
Click to expand...

This. Or I turn it up and tell her I can't hear her...:lol
 
I tell her she's really turning me on... and she leaves :)

But really, my wife and daughter are similar. They will be quietly doing their own thing until I go to my studio, then both want attention.

My real solution is pre-schedule studio time so they know in advance I will be working during those times. I try to make it in 1 hour or 2 hour max increments.
 
pauly said:
Every time I pick up an instrument, my missus starts talking at me... expecting me to listen, and provide considered responses.... And play.
Click to expand...

I have a similar issue where my wife finds it 'annoying' that I want to go play for 1-3 hours A WEEK in my jam room. Every time I do so, she ends up bringing our 4 month old in the room to somehow interrupt. I am not saying that's a bad thing I love my fam, but one thing to keep in mind is that she probably is not getting either enough attention or willing to find an output creatively like we have with music. I have found it has to be the right time and right opportunity. It has been a week and a half since I have powered up my AFX.. It's killing me, that's not all on my wife because I am in school also and have a kiddo...

As for the talking aspect, just be honest with her that you would really appreciate some time alone with your gear. Set a timer for 2-3 hours and rock out. Give her a couple of options to go do other things. As others have said it helps to have a dedicated room or portion of the house you can isolate for just you.
 
I explained to my wife how music is a stress outlet for me, and how important that is with the type of job I have. I used the same logic on my harley, but she'll ride that with me so it works for both of us. I would just make sure to have an upfront conversation about it and see what you can work out before it gets to be a huge frustration and impacts other things. It is good to find something you like doing together to balance it out, and great if you can find her something to do that allows you to play music while she is doing that other thing.
 
I listen to her. Really listen.

Then I give her my honest opinion about what she's just said to me. That usually cures the issue for a couple weeks at least.

Remember, real life can sometimes be just like the internet- people want to spew their crap, but they really have no interest in what you have to say in return. And having just typed that, I now realize it's been a waste of time because none of you give two shits about what I just said. ;)
 
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