Rock/Metal tune... need some feedback

[erockomania]

https://soundcloud.com/eric-hill1/ss-rough

I've been struggling with this one for a bit... I'm having a hard time figuring out if I should keep it, change it or scrap it altogether. It may be one of those tunes that the vocals make it or break it but I'd like honest opinions of the structure and vibe of the song. Keep in mind this is the bare bones parts and mix. I either hate the bridge or think it's mediocre at best. That would be the first thing I think I'd change if I do decide to keep this song around.

Thoughts?

(rough, rough, rough tones and mix)

-------

VERSION 2 (new bridge)

https://soundcloud.com/eric-hill1/ss-rough3-new-bridge

Thoughts?

[X14Halo]

I love 0:32 to 1:07. Mix sounds great, and I like the riffs. Just not too crazy about the notes hit in the first 30 seconds personally.

[erockomania]

Thank you!

What about the bridge?

[X14Halo]

Sounds great!

[jasonmwnf]

I agree with X14Halo, :32 to 1:07 is great. Has sort of a newer Karnivool vibe. The rest, could very well be make or break with vocals on it. Bridge, i dunno.. might come alive with vocals as well. DEFINITELY do not scrap it!

[erockomania]

Thanks for the insight guys!

[erockomania]

Could the intro riff be saved by vocal or is it just not working with the rest?

[erockomania]

I ask this because I'm far too close to the song to have good perspective after living with it for so long

[toolfanem]

I think the intro riff is my favorite part of the song and has the most potential for an interesting vocal part. I like how the drums kick in, it grooves very nicely and I like your writing style in general. Good stuff. Personally I really like the notes you used in the intro, cool choices.

[jalonhall]

I'm diggin this man. I like your chord choices. Maybe slide some familiar simple solid power chords in there somewhere just to offset the other cool chords and progressions you play throughout the song. To my ear it seems things should have gotten a little more heavy around 1:10 or so...If that makes any sense. Its definitely different which is great... just maybe add a few expected/familiar catchy parts in there. I love the tone and the mixing. Definitely keep this track!

[erockomania]

all great feedback. Exactly the stuff I need.

2 things...

should the bridge get heavier but with some simple powerchords?
do you hear screaming over any section of this song?

[MarcoB]

Overall: I like it.

Not fond of the bridge though:
The "dying bass" is too long.
The bass is playing a "wrong" note at 2:27, and is repeated at odd times, and I think it's a different note as the bass in the part at 2:40 where the same theme is repeated? Anyways, it sounds different.

I hear screams/grunts going at it from 0:32 to 0:41. On the other hand, you might not do that as it's so predictable then.

Hope this helps, all IMO, of course.

Marco

[erockomania]

I agree on the bridge (MY least favorite part of the entire tune).... yea, bad note in there... super rough as I stated earlier. Literally one take and an "oops, oh well", haha

Helps a bunch, thank you!

What's a bummer is these are live drums and I dig the drum sound I got... too bad if anything has to change, I have to re-record the drums again... BUT, if it's the right call, it must be done!

[jalonhall]

If it were me... I'd say at 1:10 add a section with hard hitting beat with some palm mutage... And maybe do away with the "fill in" chords for a measure or two. Which section are you referring to as the bridge?

And yes I hear screaming. But I think some clean vox could work well in there somewhere as well. But in my mind I hear screaming in all songs. Even country songs and hip hop haha

[erockomania]

Cool. I'll see what the guys think

[erockomania]

https://soundcloud.com/eric-hill1/ss-rough3-new-bridge

new bridge... thoughts?

[jalonhall]

Uh yea... I like that much better dude. Sounds boss!

[erockomania]

Cool man, thanks!